Coming soon

Laura and her daddy

Laura loved sucking her thumb

We were so proud of Laura.

The date that I wish I could wipe from the calendar is quickly approaching. It will be 11 years that I have been living without my daughter, Laura. I can't remember a day going by since then that I have not thought of her. She lives in my heart but I wish I could turn back the clock and have here with us.

The way I feel

They say there is a reason,
They say that time will heal,
But neither time nor reason,
Will change the way I feel,

No-one knows the heartache,
That lies behind my smile,
No-one knows how many times,
I have broken down and cried,

I want to tell you something,
So there won’t be any doubt,
[Laura] You’re so wonderful to think of,
But so hard to be without.

From Melissa L Eshleman’s book, “Always Within; Grieving the Loss of Your Infant.”

Forever painful

 The words below are very well stated by Angela Miller (copied from a FB post). She describes the pain that I carry within me and have been doing so for eleven years and I think I will until I take my last breath on this earth. 

You see, there’s a pain I carry, unlike any pain you carry, unless you are a bereaved mother too. This pain I carry is always there. It doesn’t nap during the day, or get safely tucked into bed at night. It follows me everywhere, it never leaves my side – like my [daughter] used to do, only grief is not cuddly, nor sweet." © Angela Miller

Check out Angela Miller's FB: @A Bed for my Heart. There are messages from people who know about the pain we carry because most of them are carrying it to.

Halloween memories

Belle

Laura hanging with her friends

She dressed like her Dad when he goes to work

Laura with her daddy

Brother & sister

Laura with her brother & grand parents

Yikes....you scared us

Lara & her friend in high school

October is #ChildLossAwareness month

Photo copied from my FB page: A Bed For My Heart

Almost 11 years and some days it feels like November 2008. We miss Laura everyday. There isn't any moving on in my life because that big empty hole in my heart will never close. I just struggle to live without her.