January 1st--fun in the snow

Mom went to the mall with my sister and uncle. I stayed here with Aunt Claudia and we played in the snow. My mom says Aunt Claudia has to give up her "girl card" because she hates shopping. That is fine with me because I hate shopping too!



We got really cold after playing in the snow for two hours.  I wore a pair of Aunt Laura's socks on my hands to keep them warm but after a while our hands were freezing.There was no way Aunt Claudia was getting me in the house though; I was playing King of the Hill. We forgot to take pictures of our snow seal we made and all the large, heavy snowballs. We just kept rolling them along and the more we rolled the larger they grew. Eventually I gave in when Aunt Claudia offered me hot chocolate and by that time I was ready to call it a day.

Peace & Blessing to all of us in 2011

January 1--a brand new year, this milestone which has its aura of sadness because we are entering another year without our daughter, Laura. 

I will try to focus on my hopes:

• I hope this new year will be a time of peace and contentment for us. 
• I pray this will be the year that our son finds a doctor who can really help him.
• I hope to improve my physical and spiritual self.
• I pray my pup's health improves and she can stay with us longer. (Laura, I really don't want to send her your way yet.)
• I pray that my family and friends' lives are blessed with good health and lots of love and laughter.
• I pray that the twins enter this world uneventfully. I can't wait to meet them.
• I hope we can always hear in our hearts Laura's voice reminding us to praise life and embrace it fully.  

Happy New Year!

Taking some time out for fun

Angel Tree at Metropolitian Museum of Art

Amazing stained glass by Tiffany

"Piece by piece, I reenter the world. A new phase; a new voice. Birds console me by flying, trees by growing, dogs by the warm patch they leave on the sofa. It is like a slow recovery from a sickness, this recovery of one’s self."

Toby Talbot



Two years ago when my grief was so fresh and the black hole so deep, I thought this would never happen—that I would take pleasure in the small, ordinary events of life. I thought my perception of the world would always be dominated by this piercing, overriding loss of losing my child. The excruciating pain that stabs my heart no longer cuts into my consciousness all the time. Yet, there still isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t cry and long for my daughter, Laura. My heart will ache for her until the day I die.

As you can imagine, November and December are extremely hard months to live through. I try to acknowledge the difficulties of the season and do my best getting through the days, I do what I can to cultivate some inner peace, I grant random acts of kindness in honor of Laura, and I try to laugh when I can.

I pray I will not lose my way before the days quiet down again.