“The loss is immeasurable, and so is the love.” -

Susan Berté

November 8 is approaching, the most horrific day of my life. I don't think grief will ever end because I will never stop loving and missing my girl. It is going to be 16 years that I have been living without my daughter and still there is NOT a day that goes by that I don't think of her. I say good morning and good night every day. Some days I still hold one-sided conversations with Laura. I make sure she hears me when I am delighted spending time with Emma, my granddaughter. Laura would have been over the moon if she was here when Emma was born. I have missed sharing so many experiences with my daughter.

Photograph repurposed from my Facebook feed. Power of Positivity

Keep your mind and hearts open...

 Today turned out to be a special day. We planned to clean up Laura's and other family members' grave sites today, which entails pulling out the marigolds and planting mums.  We woke to a cloudy day and soon a raining one. My husband wanted to postpone the trip, but I stood my ground, and we headed out in the rain. 

We arrived at the cemetery, and it was still raining. Surprisingly, the marigolds were still thriving beautifully! It broke my heart to pull and discard them. I knew it would be a little messy working in the rain.  As soon as we gathered our tools from the trunk and headed toward the graves the rain stopped. I was grateful. We replaced the marigolds with mums, walked over to the garbage can with all the trash and back to say our goodbye to Laura before departing.  Just as we entered the car the rain came pouring down. We were once again in awe. 

Later we found ourselves in Shoprite. The number at the deli counter was 61; I pulled a ticket, and it was number 83 (Laura's birth year). I silently thanked her for letting me know she was clearly with us today.

 Be patience with yourself. A new you is emerging.

Faith, Hope, & Love

This beautiful message is reprinted with permission from Jo Ann Mummert Meinhart. Jo Ann posted her message in the hope it resonates with others who have lost a beloved spouse. Her inspiring words lets you know there is hope after loss and healing.

In memory of Ron Meinhart

January 11, 1949-September 22,2014

Living through Loss

Written by Jo Ann Meinhart

This September 22nd will be 10 years since your passing.
On that day our dreams shattered, and I was left alone.

For years the loss of you felt like a sword in my heart.
The loss today has morphed to rehearsing good memories of our time together.

It’s been ten short, long years since you’ve been gone.

Short because it seems like yesterday we parted.
And long because of the many changes I needed to make over these 10 years.

Learning to make decisions and do for myself has made me stronger. I am still learning.

For 43 years together we lived by integrity, practiced generosity and learned wisdom.
I treasure these traits and live by them every day. It makes me feel closer to you.

I am so aware that I am the final reflection and a continuance of us to our family and friends.

At first loss it felt like a burden, but now I know it serves in keeping your memory alive.

Hardships and hospital stays inevitably came. I wished you could give advice and be by my side.

During those times, I learned to find you in a different way.
I’d hear a song, or a hospital worker would speak kindly.

Advice came in so many unique ways…and I learned to hear the still small voice.

God has given me peace. It isn’t a surface feeling it’s a deep assurance inside.

All is well with us both. You, in heaven and me here.
I never thought I’d be able to attain peace without you.
I’ve had to trust in God’s presence and care in every way.

How did I go from tremendous grief to acceptance and joy?

I found something each day to be grateful for. In the beginning it was hard work.

Gradually gratitude grew and served to drown my pain.
Sometimes gratitude came with just being with others who shared the same loss…

Gratitude was my nourishment, and I became more aware of sadness’s attempt to ambush.

Grief is a slow process not to be short circuited. I grieved deeply because I loved deeply.

So, soulmate of my heart… you are in my thoughts this September.
As our parting date approaches, I want you to know…
I’m good. I’m okay. I will always love you.

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
I Corinthians 13:1