Where is the Converse?

Sunday, May 2, 2010

I spoke to Melissa today and she told me about a very unusual occurrence that happened on Wednesday, April 28. I mean unusual for most people but not for us because we believe in the powers that our spiritual loved ones are gifted with.

Mornings are hectic at Melissa’s house…Shawn has to catch his bus on time for school, Kyla has to get ready to go to her aunt’s house, and Melissa has to get herself motivated for school. This particular morning, Kyla decides to wear her Converse sneakers but can only find one. The search begins but the mate is no where to be found. Time is ticking, the bus is coming, uncle is waiting patiently downstairs, the pup has to be crated, and Melissa needs to get the two rug rats and herself out the door to start the day.

So what would any fast-thinking mother do to calm her screaming, disappointed daughter? Like all moms would she made a promise to find the sneaker later and pleaded with her child to wear a different pair of shoes. This really isn’t an unreasonable request to make, expecially when the young daughter has a shoe fetish and numerous pairs of shoes to choose from. Finally, out the door they go.

Melissa comes home determined to find the sneaker. She searches unsuccessfully and then she goes to retrieve the one sneaker from the spot in the dining room where she left it. She starts to laugh and then remembers to thank her cousin. There on the floor is not only one sneaker but the mate along side it!

Surprised? We aren’t. We all know how many pairs of sneakers Laura owned (enough pairs to open a small boutique) so she totally identified with Kyla’s disappointment over the lost sneaker. Kyla was Laura’s pride and joy and it just goes to show, she still is. Melissa witnessed another display of Laura’s amazing energy at work.

Laura by Mary E Kurland (10/7/04)

I found this poem in a pamphlet from the annual memorial mass for the deceased children and grandchildren that we attended last May. Tonight I found the pamphlet and re-read it. I want to share the poem that Mrs. Kurland wrote for her Laura because she captures feelings that every parent who has lost a child experiences.

Since Heaven has become your home,
I sometimes feel I'm so alone.

And though we now are far apart
you hold a big piece of my heart.

I never knew how much I'd grieve,
when it was time for you to leave.

Or just how much my heart would ache,
from that one fragment you would take.

God lets my tender hole remain,
to remind me we will meet again.

And one day all my pain will cease,
when he restores the missing piece.

God will turn to joy, my every tear
and make all things very clear.

When we meet again on Reunion Day.

We miss you, Laura

Dear family, friends, & my earth angels,

It has been 15 months since Laura died. Some people say that after the one-year mark, things get easier. Believe me, they do NOT. We are able to go about our daily routine, take care of the things we need to, go to work, and look like we are doing quite well. However, the pain is as deep and hurtful as it was on November 8, 2008.

There are times that we can put our pain aside and join you for dinner or just hang and laugh with you. And sometimes, even a glimpse of hope sneaks in and the future doesn't look so dim (especially when we spend time with David, Danielle, Melissa, Shawn, and Kyla). Other times, it is a struggle to get up and going. It is still very necessary for me to cry often.

It means so much to us to know that Laura will not be forgotten. We want you to talk about her, we need to hear her name mentioned, we want you to share your memories with us. Please do not be afraid to do so. Please do not worry about making us cry. Our sadness is always on the surface. Allowing us to talk and cry is giving us the best gift you can give.

Fred and I will never be the same people we were before Laura died. Life looks so different to us now. We don't expect you to understand what it feels like losing a daughter and hope that you never find out. Grief is a vicious, demanding, necessary process that we have to go through.

We don't expect advice or for you to make things better for us. We do ask that you be wiling to continue to listen when we need to talk about Laura.

We are forever grateful for your love, support, and friendship.

David & Laura's Pop

David, Laura, and Pop at their cousin's wedding in August 2001.

Laura loved her grandfather with all her heart.

I am certain they are together in Heaven.

Hopefully, they are playing cards and if you ever played cards

with Pop you know he is winning and you are losing your money!

(Click on pictures to enlarge.)