We had a pleasant holiday dinner with my sister, brother, niece,
and great nephew and niece. We can’t say it was quiet because you
can never use that word when our little people (as Laura would call
them) are at the house! They are lively and loud little ones.
I finally had the courage to dismantle Laura’s bedroom. I am keeping
things that recall memories of her, such as photos, journals, books,
keepsakes, etc. I think it is best to keep items that have a use so
my memory is jolted when I see them and donate things that others
can use. The following sentence is from one of my bereavement
books: “Shrines have their place, but they are poor backgrounds for
life in the present moment.” I am trying to take this to heart but
it is difficult.
As you can imagine, it certainly wasn’t an easy thing to tackle her
bedroom. We kept her bed and moved it to the guest room along with
her vanity. I gave her friend one of her dressers and I kept the other
in the room for my use. I have been sorting through her clothes for
a while and filled 11 large garage bags for the Red Cross pickup
this month. I donated most of her coats to the coat drive at work
for people in the area. I know Laura would want people to make
use of her clothes. A lot of less fortunate people will be kept warm
this winter with her sweaters, sweatshirts, jeans, boots, sneakers, etc.
On a side note, a few years back, Laura came in contact with a
homeless man. She saw him a lot and befriended him. One day
she came home and said we had to gather some clothes to give to
him, so she and I went into her father’s closet and found
some items. Fred never missed the clothes we offered the man!
(Fred, sorry we kept it a secret!)
My brother and I painted Laura’s room with the color
“sweet serenity.” I keep asking her if she likes the color, so far
no response. I also plead with her to come and visit and let me
feel her presence in the room when I start working on my
quilting projects. I’ll keep you posted...
Lord, grant me the strength to change what can be changed,
the grace to accept what cannot be changed,
and the wisdom to know the one from the other.
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